


Farewell Bocchan

by noemiluisa



Series: Kuroshitsuji [10]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Gen, M/M, Other, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-08-28 12:14:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8445451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noemiluisa/pseuds/noemiluisa
Summary: A not-so-short sad story about how Sebastian broke the contract with Ciel. I might add another chapter later on. WARNING: Major character's death. Slightly Yaoi, Seba/Ciel.





	1. Chapter 1

Ciel POV

Hands touching lightly, fingers entwining as blood drips drawing red lines around us. A dark crow emits a creaky sound outside of the window before flapping his wings and flying afar into the night. Sebastian shifts a bit, adjusting his position next to me and a soft whisper escapes my lips. In this moments only, I can finally reveal myself for the child that I still am, only when he is so close to me I feel so exposed. He is so tempting, such a cunning creature and he is the only one I dare trust. Because no bond is stronger than ours, Master and Servant; but who is truly the owner and who the owned?

A silver moon is watching over us as the shadows close in and tons of hungry creatures latch onto us. Hungry eyes staring at us from the Tenebrae, lurking into the dark just waiting for an opening to strike us down. I feel him grow weaker, and I know I’ll soon be in danger, but those thoughts can wait. Right now what it matters is him. If we are to be parted, I would rather have him consume me here and now fusing our essences into one.

Oh, I always knew he was a master at games, pretending to lose against me so that I could be fooled by his apparent weakness and I totally fell for it. I let myself be lulled into his sea of lies, while uncertainty was being rooted deep inside my core. Am I not pathetic now? So vulnerable and close to death, be it by his fangs or my own hand, and yet I am still clinging onto him even when he is the primal cause of my sufferings, my unending curse.

‘Bocchan...,’ he whispers into my ear as he gently strokes my silver hair. Just like a well-trained pet, my body shivers in response to his touch, ‘Mn...’

His black tie is carefully wrapped around his neck and for an instant I wonder if it would be of any use at all to try and strangle him with it, a futile attempt that would be, as the being looming over me is far from being a mere human. As if his disappearance could ever cancel the feelings he has already instilled in my heart.

‘It's getting colder, Bocchan’ his voice is hoarse and strong emotions clench my heart making it hurt. A single tear appears in the corner of my blue eye but I fight against it to not let it fall and manage to push it back.

His immaculate white shirt is stained in blood and in the faint light of the night I can see it shine as bright as if it were day. It must be my imagination, but the more I look at it, the darker and deeper the red becomes. I wonder if that is a good sign, meaning that the bleeding is going to stop soon. ‘Sebastian, why would you not clean yourself? It's unbecoming of a butler to look dirty in front of his Master’ I try to put that into a light annoyed tone, but despite my attempts my voice trembles.

He smiles, a sad and cold smile. ‘What about you, _Master_?’ He asks pressing his long white index against my exposed chest, ‘Is that how you’re supposed to look in front of your servant, exposing not only your flesh but your soul as well?’

‘I had hoped you would have taken good care of my soul, maybe I was mistaken,’ I coldly reply locking my fiery eyes into his. ‘Explain to me why you’re littering my linens with unholy blood such as yours’. His red pupils glow in the dark and he growls, but I know he cannot hurt me for he is still bonded by our unfulfilled contract. Funny, isn’t it? For how much I try to sound disdainful towards him I cannot lie to myself, and I am all-too-well aware that I fell in love with him a long time ago.

It was inevitable, even though I knew every single action he ever took was always for his own sake. Even if I was a mere dinner for him and he was just toying with me all along, I couldn’t stop myself from becoming attached to and dependent on him. Day after day I felt my feelings for this butler of mine grow. My life, and my power, I owed him everything, and he was going to take it all away along with my soul once the contract would have been fulfilled. Not anymore though.

‘Sebastian!’ I urge him grabbing his wide shoulders, ‘Take my soul’. My gaze is firm, straight into his eyes, secretly wishing for my will not to falter at the last moment. His eyebrows rise and he looks back at me with a surprised expression, ‘So eager to die, Bocchan?’

‘Tsk…I don’t like being indebted to the dead, Demon,’ I throw back at him with as much spite as I can. _Yes, I want to give you my soul even if our contract is not fulfilled, and no it’s not because of that excuse that I gave you for a reason. Please don’t ask me why…I cannot stand to admit how much I have fallen to your games, all of your deceptive words play into my head like a mantra and I cannot free myself anymore._

‘I must decline, Bocchan, for it is not yet time. The contract hasn’t been fulfil…’

‘The hell with the contract Sebastian, you’re _dying,_ I can see that. That’s why I want you to take my soul now. It’s an order!’ I insist, the contract shining into my disfigured eye. He chuckles and more blood comes out of his wounds, turning the white sheets into deep red.

‘This is nothing to laugh about,’ I say frowning. ‘Why would you not listen to me…?’ I add, repeatedly hitting him with my small fists right onto his wounded chest. At this he reacts grabbing my wrists while more of the precious liquid oozes out. His hands are as cold as ice and the contract is fading quicker than his life. ‘You truly are amusing, Young Master, first you pretend to care for me and offer me your soul while being perfectly aware that I cannot, with all my will, take it now. And then you start hurting me, effectively speeding up my death’.   

I gasp as he says so, shaking my head while panic fills my lungs. _Sebastian, dead…_ _That just isn’t quite right, no?_

‘W-what do you mean, you’re immortal…you’re a demon after all’. No matter how much I tested him, he would complete all of my challenges with ease wearing a phony smile all the time. He cannot be dying for real, and why would he not hurry to find a remedy, _why is he not struggling for life?_ ‘Sebastian, quit playing around. This doesn’t make any sense. You wouldn’t just let yourself die and break our contract like this. There’s no way you’d fail me…’

‘As much as I loathe the situation I currently am in, Bocchan,’ he interrupts me,  ‘There’s nothing I can do. I might be a demon but I am far from being immortal as you claim. There are other means by which a demon can die just like any human being. I am afraid the process that has now started cannot be reversed, you’ll have to deal with it, besides…’ cough cuts his speech off and black liquid spreads all around, hitting my face and chest as well. The bed shakes under us as a violent jolt passes through his body.

 _He doesn’t even have a body,_  I think. _That shape he is in is just an expression for his demonic essence._ ‘What if you just try to fly out of your human form and then come back?’ I suggest causing him to giggle.

‘Do you think I would’ve not done that yet if it were of some help?’

I grit my teeth for my stupidity and say ‘Well, I am no expert in demonology. I was just trying to think of a solution to prevent my most precious chess piece from falling off the board. I guess I’ll just have to deal with it exactly as you said’.

My tone is calm and almost cold, as if his fate isn’t of my concern. _I won’t let him find out, I cannot bear the thought. Me falling for another living being, and a filthy demon as well, **my** demon... _I sigh, lost into my dark thoughts. There was no hope for this from the very beginning and I was foolish enough to let me be dragged into this degrading situation.

Sebastian stares at me with enquiring eyes, confused by my unexpected behaviour. He probably hadn’t thought that I would have been so ready to throw him away once he had become an useless pieces among the others in my hand, for as cold-hearted as I am we both know that I need **him** more than anyone else. To be fair, neither was I expecting thigs to turn out like this. If anything, I don’t even know how to proceed now, never had I planned to survive him. 

Not to mention that I am totally unprepared to face the inevitable sense of loss that will certainly follow his death. Just picturing my life without him waking me up every day, his ever-present shadow behind my back no longer there…that was surely a gloomy future that awaited me. _No, I cannot stand it, I could never go on living without him by my side. Death wold be a more merciful fate in that case. Why wouldn’t he just take my soul and be done with it?_

‘Sebastian!’ I suddenly jump up, a strange look shining into my eyes as I speak, I turn to face him and notice how much his body has deteriorated in the few split seconds I haven’t been looking at him. My eyes lose part of their brightness as I take in his weakened form.

‘What is it, Bocchan?’ he asks with such low voice I almost miss it. His right hand is clutching exactly where his heart would have been if he were a human being and his face appears pained.

‘I…I just thought, would eating my soul restore your force and heal you?’ I am unsure on how to not sound as if I am offering it as an option. I don’t want him to even contemplate the idea that I might wish for him to recover so much that I’d give away my soul.

‘And why would you think about that? Are you going to sacrifice the King to save a mere pawn, my Lord? I would have expected better from you’.

‘Don’t avoid my question, Sebastian. Would you be able to survive if you ate my soul?’ I press him.

‘I explicitly told you I am not going to break our contract and take your soul before time…’

‘But you’re breaking it anyway by dying!’ I cut him off with emphasis.

‘True, but I won’t have to live and bear with the consequences of that’.

‘But you seem to expect me to bear your death,’ I state before I can stop myself.

He smiles, licking his own blood which is now dripping down his chin. ‘Would that be too much for you, Ciel?’

‘When did I give you permission to call me by my first name, demon? And aside from being a pain and slowing my plans down, I don’t think that the loss of such a worthless servant, who is even so bold as to talk back to his master, would hurt me’.

‘Why are you offering me your soul then?’ he asks genuinely curious.

I bite my lip, of course I cannot tell him the truth, that parting from him would be too painful for me to bear. Instead I decide to lie until the very end, there is no point in him knowing anyway, he would just make fun of me for thinking I could have been loved back by such a monster as he is.

He looks surprised when I smile and licking my lips I say ‘Since you have twice clearly stated that you cannot take my soul, because of the contract that still binds us, I just couldn’t resist but test you on that. Besides, I was just curious to know if, had you been able to eat my soul, that would’ve been enough to save you. It really must be a pity, for you to be chained to a weak being such as me and unable to obtain my soul as you had planned and more than that, having to die as the filthy dog that you are at my feet while I watch you from above. For your reference, I never meant to allow you sad excuse of a demon to consume my soul without finishing your job’.  

After I finish my little speech he snarls at me and with all of his remaining strength he grabs me and forces me down on the bed below him. Droplets of blood fall down on my body, and I feel his ragged breaths on my face. ‘I could actually take up your offer form before and consume your soul now, Ciel, my contract is almost gone anyway’ he glances at his hand where once shone a five-pointed star marking our bond. I don’t reply, my own breaths quick and short, secretly I am hoping for him to do just as he has said, anything but losing him forever is fine at this point.

 _He could have never loved me anyway, his species is just incapable of that,_ I mentally tell myself. Moreover, he seems to have regained a bit of life the moment he attacked me, maybe the loath he feels for me is so strong that it can actually keep him alive even while the reapers outside have been waiting for him to dissolve for a while now. Convinced that there is no going back now, I stare up at him as his face becomes closer to mine.

‘Farewell Bocchan,’ his warm breath reaches my ear and as he says so his eyes lose their vitality and his body goes limp, falling hard on mine. I shake him, crying out his name, telling him not to leave me, but all is in vain. No reply is ever coming.

The skies roar out of my window but I can hear nothing if not my own despair. Hence, as the cold shadows of the night silently fall on us, the candlelight twinkles until it is absorbed into the darkness and his body dissolves into black dust. And that which was once Sebastian Michaelis, my demon butler, is no more.     


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian's point of view

‘Bocchan…’ A single red drop slides against my cheek and my human form takes in a deep breath, almost as if it were my last one. ‘Botc-chan…’ I whisper again in the silent night and even with just that, I know I have already signed my death warrant.

   Demons are selfish, cunning and deceiving creatures, but I fell for my own traps. I wasn't supposed to fall in love, not with my dinner to say the least. Such tempting scent, invading my nostrils every single day, inebriating my senses; it seems logical that it has dug his way deep down my core.

   And so, the craving for the soul became craving for the flesh and soon addiction to the person…I'm no longer in a position to claim his precious soul for if I were to do that his very existence would end and mine with him.

   I am always so fascinated, as I watch him stand tall against the world and even against his fate. Ciel truly is beautiful, such uncorrupted pride and ferocious thirst for revenge…all stored in that fragile little body of his.

My fangs could pierce his neck so easily drinking straight from the source of my torment, but what benefit would I gain from savouring it for a mere instant before his life force leaves him?

And again, I find myself going through the set of precious memories I have of him, looking for a reason why things took the direction they were never meant to take.

Was it his sweet cravings that first moved my demonic spirit? Or maybe his undeniable charm when dealing with “customers”…?

More than that, the way he orders me around, always being so imperative, so possessive as if I truly were his own even though he is fully aware that it is all a pretence. But is it, really?

 

…

‘Sebastian, make me a lemon tart’ I hear his high-pitched voice say.

‘Young Master, it’s almost dinner time. You will not eat your soup if you have sweets now,’ I reply.

‘I want a lemon tart,’ he pouts, ‘Do you need to make me order you?’

‘Please, Bocchan, refrain from forcing me to do something that surely wouldn’t be beneficial to your health,’ I say in response, half hiding a smile.

‘Sebastian! Make me a lemon tart, now, it’s an order’.

‘Yes, Bocchan’. I bow to him, as both our contract’s marks shine and I feel the power he has over me reverberate into my form.

 

…

 _Sebastian! Come!_ I feel him summoning me through our contract and I can’t think of what could have gone wrong in the few minutes I left him alone after putting him into bed. As usual, I immediately materialise outside of his door and then open it, walking towards his king-sized bed with concern written all over my face. ‘What is it that you require, Bocchan?'

‘Strip’ comes the unexpected order.

‘My Lord?’ I reply surprised by his request. Never had I thought he would have asked such a thing of me.

‘You heard me Sebastian, get naked’. He looks at me with narrow eyes, waiting for me to do as he has said.

Weighing my words I dare ask, ‘May I be as bold as to enquire why would you give me such an order, Bocchan?’

‘Because I decided that it is time for me to explore my sexuality and you’re here to help. I thought it would be easier this way, given that I can order you to do whatever I want,’ he says, a smirk appearing on his childish lips.

   I am astounded by his boldness, although what he has just said makes sense. Still, I can’t let him have his way with me, for I am already too vulnerable to his charm. The stupid brat doesn’t know at all that I crave to sink my fangs deep into his neck and savour his flesh, making him scream in pleasure as I roughly ride him to an orgasm… _No, I cannot take him…his body wouldn’t withstand it and I don’t want to hurt him._

   My thoughts are interrupted by my Young Master who coughs to attract my attention; his looks showing signs of impatience. Sighing, I slowly walk towards his bed, my red eyes glowing into the dark room while my fingers work on my clothes. My necktie falls on the floor as I proceed to unfasten the buttons of my shirt and my Master stares at me.

   As I place a knee on the side of the bed, he retracts his legs towards his chest and wraps his arms around them in a protective position. I can hear his pulse quickening and his short breaths coming out in an erratic way.

‘My, my Bocchan, don’t tell me that you have developed feelings for this servant of yours, even though you pretend to be such an heartless Master?’

   ‘Don’t be a fool, _demon_ ,’ he spats at me, ‘I have yet to lose my mind and become attached to a lowlife such as yourself’. He is partially turned to the side, not looking at me straight into my eyes, but insistently staring at the door. I feel his word sting into my mind and I call that hurt pride, even though I know that it is not.

‘Your words pain me, my Lord. Yet I had expected such a reply,’ I tell him and as my last button comes loose I add, ‘Still, I’d dare say that you find me attractive at least’.

His face turns red and, changing his position so that he is now facing me, he shouts, ‘What on earth would make you think that I could ever be attracted to another _older_ male who, by the way, is not even human? I am betrothed to Elizabeth and heir to one of the most respected families in the country; I would not commit a sinful action such as homosexuality. As I said I am just using you as an _object_ since I can easily move you around as I wish…I have no interest in you whatsoever...’ he starts rambling.

    ‘But, Young Master,’ I interrupt him, ‘Your body is betraying you, then’.

 ** _Slap!_** His hand makes contact with my cheek and my head turns by ninety degrees, a red mark forming on my porcelain white skin. He is furious, I can tell by the way his teeth are clenching against each other. ‘Filthy demon,’ he hisses ‘How dare you, insulting my honour…’ he trembles and his small fingers clench into a fist.   

With the plainest expression I can muster, I turn towards him. My eyes are cold red pools as I speak ‘Does my Master still wish for me to undress?’ He hesitates, his own eyes shimmering with anger.

   Although my tone was deprived of any emotion, inside of me there’s a storm and powerful waves are crushing against each other, sending conflictual impulses across my body. I want to take him for my sake, and yet I don’t want to hurt him…even if I burn for revenge, I am also at a loss of words, for I don’t know how to talk about what I feel. So I stay silent, waiting for a reply from him, not sure of what I wish to hear.

‘Just leave,’ he finally says, lying on the bed with his back turned towards me and his knees against his chest.

    I blink, my own chest hurting even if I don’t know why. I do not move from my spot, looking at him as his quick breaths leave his small form. He is slightly trembling but he doesn’t move to get his covers on. ‘Sebastian, leave’. I feel the contract on my hand shine as the last word is uttered with the force of an order. I am forced to get up and grabbing my necktie on the floor I head for the door. As I close it behind my back I whisper to the darkness, ‘Goodnight Bocchan’.

Once outside, I lie against the wood and stare at the ceiling without actually seeing it. My chest aches and I can’t, or rather don’t want to admit why. _Demons cannot love…_ I repeat to myself.

 

…

Ciel shifts uncomfortably in his bed, tormented by his nightmares. I am already outside of his door when he calls for me. When I walk inside, I am greeted with terrified eyes staring into my red orbs as he orders me, ‘Stay with me, Sebastian’.

I bow my head in his direction acknowledging his order, ‘Yes Bocchan’.

He lies back on the bed and his heart calms down a bit. ‘Don’t leave me,’ he adds in a whisper and I promise ‘Never’, even though I know that’s a lie and it stings into my hand to say so.

 

…

 _Demons cannot love, it’s not in their nature…_ small red drops fall out of my chest as I stare at the moon outside of Ciel’s window. The Young Master is finally asleep and I came to check on him; for no reason at all if not for my own pleasure. I turn to admire his sleeping figure in the cold light of the moon and gently brush his silver hair.

 

_Demons cannot love, Bocchan, but I can still suffer for you cannot love me._

He shifts into his sleep and my name slips out of his lips, accidentally I am lost in contemplation. My sharp fangs protruding out of my mouth, I lick my lips fancying the sweet flavour I know would come with the consumption of his soul. ‘Sebastian,’ he calls me again, red tears leave my eyes and I answer. ‘Bocchan…’

 

_Demons cannot love but I am forever cursed, Bocchan, for I cannot take your soul._

I have made up my mind, finally, after spending many moons pondering about my possible courses of action. I am not ashamed of what has become of me, nor am I inclined to fight my impending demise. His eyes twitch a bit more as I move him away from the side of the bed and climb next to him. Red marks are quickly spreading over my chest and blood is staining my immaculate shirt.

 

_Demons cannot love, but I am bleeding for you Ciel…_

Ciel wakes up, confused and sleepy he mutters, ‘Sebastian? What are you doing in my bed?’

‘I am resting Young Master’ I simply reply looking at him from below as he straightens his shoulders to give a better look at me.

   ‘What do you mean _resting,_ Sebastian? Why are…?’ words freeze, worlds collapse as he stares at me with his mouth open and widened eyes. ‘Sebastian! What is the meaning of this? Explain to me what is going on…are we being attacked by a reaper?’

‘There is no need to panic, my Lord, we are not under any threat. Not you at least. No reaper attempted to take my life and I am peacefully bleeding’.

‘Then who did this to you?’ he asks, clearly concerned by my loss of demonic blood. ‘Is it grave?’

‘Yes, indeed I fear this might take my life, my Lord’.

He chuckles, darkly, ‘Sebastian, don’t joke, please’.

   ‘I am sincere, Bocchan. All I have told you is the truth,’ I reply. My eyes rest on his and I know he doesn’t believe me. How could he, after all, I used to be his most precious pawn, always perfect and never faltering. _I am a demon, I am not supposed to die before my Master. Yet I am being consumed, before my Master’s eyes._

He scorns at me, ‘Are you telling me to believe that all of a sudden you are on the verge of death for no reason at all? Is there any kind of sickness which could attack demons?’

My eyes glow, I am bound to answer truthfully to his questions, but I do not wish for him to know the cause of my death. ‘I would say that there is, Bocchan. I apologise for I cannot go deeper into details. It might not be long before I exhale my last breath as I am afraid this process cannot be undone now’.

He shudders; I can see his face paling at my words. He examines my form without a word. Meanwhile, I am lost into my thoughts as his small body comes closer to mine.

 _Oh, Ciel, how much I want to hug you and keep you close, how I wish demons could love. Just a single touch would be enough to ease my pain..._ as if in response to my thoughts our hands link together, touching lightly, our fingers entwining and my blood keeps flowing around us. I shift to adjust my position and a whisper escapes my Young Master’s lips. He looks so vulnerable right now, that I am almost tempted to go back on my own decision and consume him instead of letting myself being consumed like this.

   I can feel the creatures of the night outside of the window waiting for me to fade away, but I am not worried, for I have already taken care to inform the reapers and the Undertaker to watch over my little Lord once I am gone.

 _I thought I was letting you win, Ciel, whenever we played our little games. But I didn’t notice I was the one who was being fooled. I was unprepared, careless, I forgot to be cautious.  It is funny how much you, a mere human, made me fall. I sinned of arrogance and conceit, I thought I was everything for you, that I could be all you ever needed. I believed you were the one dependent on me, while I was the one clinging to you._ I stroke his hair and whisper, ‘Bocchan’ to his ear. He shivers, against all reasons in the world, but I know, it is merely his body reacting to mine…I could never stir anything beyond lust in him, for I am a demon.   _  
_

_What I hope for is impossible, demos cannot love and that is a sad truth, my love. But it’s fine this way, I have come to accept it. If I were to take your soul, and you disappear, Ciel, I would grow insane with the precious memories I hold of you. Instead, I chose to let you live and fulfil your life. I am sorry I could not complete your revenge, but I believe you will be able to obtain it anyway. I want you to live even if you have given up on life. I am selfish I know, but I am a demon after all._

‘It’s getting colder, Bocchan’. Never had I thought that unrequited love could affect me in this way, making my devilish body shiver in coldness. I can smell salt and realise there is a tear in Ciel’s eyes. My heart jumps, is it a sign of feelings for me? Or maybe, he is just tired and bored of me…it’s the middle of the night after all.

   My blood thickens and becomes darker; I know I am close to my end. His voice trembles when he, annoyed, comments on my aspect. Faithful to my nature, even though his comment hurt, I wittingly reply with the best smile I can manage, ‘What about you, _Master_?’ I press my finger on his skin, ‘Is that how you’re supposed to look in front of your servant, exposing not only your flesh but your soul as well?’ 

   He is cold in his reply, and I can feel disdain behind his words. My pride, no my _heart_ is wounded, but all I can do is stare at him with glowing eyes. Then he does the unthinkable, grabbing my shoulders he offers me nothing less but his soul. I am surprised; I wouldn’t have expected him to do such a thing. ‘So eager to die Bocchan?’ I try to sound teasing, but almost certainly fail due to my weak state.

‘Tsk…I don’t like being indebted to the dead, Demon,’ is his spiteful response. I should’ve known he wasn’t doing it for me, yet somehow his answer sounds strange to my ears. However, there’s no way I would accept such an offer, as tempting as it might be.

‘I must decline, Bocchan, for it is not yet time. The contract hasn’t been fulfil…’

    ‘The hell with the contract Sebastian, you’re _dying,_ I can see that. That’s why I want you to take my soul now. It’s an order!’ he cuts me off and I chuckle. At this, he gets angry, though, and hits me with his small fists. Pain shots thorough my body as I lose even more blood. I quickly grab his wrists with my ice-cold hands, while words come out of my mouth without being fully processed by my brain.

He gasps and shakes his head, still denying the fact that I can die as well.

   I repeat what I have already told him earlier, ‘As much as I loathe the situation I currently am in, Bocchan, there’s nothing I can do. I might be a demon but I am far from being immortal as you claim. There are other means by which a demon can die, just like any human being’ I state. ‘I am afraid the process that has now started cannot be reversed, you’ll have to deal with it, besides…’ pain strikes through my heart and cough causes more blood to come out, stopping me from saying that he would’ve been just fine; because in the end I was just a pawn in his hand, worthless of any special attention.

   His naïve suggestion makes me giggle, and he is not happy of being laughed at. I am surprised he is willing to give up on me easily, but my astonishment only lasts for a split second. I stare at him with enquiring eyes, but my thoughts are somewhere else, far more dark and painful, in a world where my Ciel cannot ever love me for I was merely a disposable chess piece. _I am a fool, but at least I never thought there was any hope for us to be together, if anything, demons cannot love._ I repeat to myself as a mantra and each time I do it feels like poison is digging deeper into my core, corrupting it a bit more, creaking its sides.

And again, he surprises me, when my essence is almost spent and my hand is instinctively clutching at my pained heart, by asking if his soul could cure me. I don’t want to think of this as an offer, but just to make sure I try to belittle him for choosing such a poor strategy, ‘And why would you think about that? Are you going to sacrifice the King to save a mere pawn, my Lord? I would have expected better from you’.

   He insists though, and I feel the need to push him away, even if it is tearing apart my already strained heart. _Is he just enjoying to torture me? Surely he must know that demons cannot love, yet does he know the true reason why as hell’s creatures we cannot love?_

Yet again, he surprises me, with a single plain statement. ‘But you seem to expect me to bear your death’.

I decide to push my luck, I am very much close to death anyway, as I lick my own blood from my chin. ‘Would that be too much for you, Ciel?’

   As expected his reply is not nice, but filled with arrogance and a hint of anger,  I am curious though, to know why he is trying to offer me his soul. My curiosity doesn’t pay me back well, though. His reply is cold and almost hateful, he seems to despise me and although I knew he only saw me as a mere servant, it shatters my heart. In a blink of an eye, I am atop him, aware that my time is coming to an end in a few seconds. I am hungry for his soul and I can distinctly taste its tempting flavour coming from Ciel. In my weakened form, it becomes harder to resist huger. My blood dirties him as I speak ‘I could actually take up your offer form before and consume your soul now, Ciel, my contract is almost gone anyway’.

As I glance at the fading contract on my hand, I realise that it truly is almost gone, the only bond I had with him. Plenty of memories from the past few years replay into my mind and I am overwhelmed by my _feelings_ for him.

 _Ciel…Ciel…_ his name is the only word I am able to hear in my thoughts as the cinematics record come to an end and a red tear glows into my eyes. He is staring at me as I draw closer to him.

_Demons cannot love, Ciel, and you must be convinced that I am going to devour you now for my own sake. How wrong you would be, since I am dying for you. To your eyes, I was and will ever be only a mere servant, a hellhound and it pains me._

I lie in closer, whispering softly to his ear ‘Farewell Bocchan’ and I feel life abandoning me. My spirit has not left me yet, though, when he calls my name and begs me not to leave him. And my heart finally breaks, when I hear his pained cries and I dissolve into black dust. There is no way a demon could ever love a human.

 

_Because demons cannot love, for love consumes their very essence and should they fall in love they would soon come to an end. Farewell, my Ciel.  
_


End file.
